Lee before the 9am Sunday service at the church. "Primarily I feel like an outsider. It seems like so many people around me experience life and pursue what they want. Almost as if there's an exclusive club that they all have a membership to and I'm stuck at the gates looking at their activities. However whenever I try to climb over the hedges and fences, I find out that I do not belong. I do not know the lingo, protocol, procedure or culture. My clothes do not match theirs, I do not know how to play their games, what places to visit or how to fit in. And, they all know. So, they call security to escort me off the property. Even if I do get invited in, it is still just as a visitor and as a charity case, to show how privileged they are to be members of the club and reinforce how fortunate they are to be insiders. You can clean me up, put me in the "right" clothes and give me an honorary membership, but I will still be that outsider and that is that."